A week from today I will be pulling out in my 24 foot Class C motor home, headed west to explore and create the next chapter of my life.
You’d think that this would be easy. I have no children, no spouse, no mortgage, no employer, no ill and elderly parent that I need to care for. There is nothing to hold me back, tie me down, nothing to keep me from living my dream.
Except my own self. The only thing that can stop me are my fears, my doubts, but mostly my rules.
Many people think I am spontaneous, flexible and adventurous. They think I live like a free-spirit, easily exploring new places and embracing new experiences. They are surprised to learn how structured and regimented my life really is.
I wake up at the same time every day and immediately jump into the shower. It wakes me up, refreshes me, readies me for the day. I get dressed and take the dogs for a walk, pressing the on button for the coffee maker when we return.
I feed the dogs then the birds at the feeder, then I have my own breakfast. It’s the same every day: a bowl of bran flakes with dried cranberries, no milk, and a single cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee.
I tend to eat at the same favorite restaurants and vacation in the same places.
I go to bed at exactly 10pm, switching off the lights in the same order, adjusting the thermostat and even saying the same “ok, it’s time to move over” to Mabel every night before getting into bed.
Spontaneity is NOT my middle name.
In fact, when I travel, it takes a lot of gusto to explore where I am, to venture beyond what is familiar and comfortable.
Maybe this incredibly structured living provides the necessary support system for my wildly creative ideas to blossom.
But I see how it can so easily limit me, too.
Several years ago I worked with a high level business coach who constantly told me the only thing limiting me were my rules. I was always quick to say NO to her suggestions that would uplevel my business, bring a more professional look to my website, connect my with a higher paying client base. They were all good ideas but my response was always, I can’t do that.
Yes, in business it is essential to be able to say no, to set boundaries, schedules and limitations. And I’ve gotten very used to being in such control that most things go exactly how I plan them.
But only saying no can quickly become self-limiting.
Well, now it’s time to let go of the control, the knowing, the way I’ve boxed myself into such a comfortable, predictable, controlled existence. Now it’s time to practice saying YES.
Yes to risk
Yes to driving alone
Yes to not knowing how and what will unfold
Yes to meeting new people
Yes to trying other people’s suggestions
Yes to walking even if it means breaking a sweat
When I think about moving to CA, I can only imagine that I am going to be living this same life, just in a different place. And I see that’s not enough.
I don’t WANT to keep doing the same things in the same way.
So I guess that means I’m ready for whatever it will take to do it completely differently. To let go of everything and try a new way. Where I DON’T know everything ahead of time, where I can’t plan every detail, where life becomes about the present moment, from when to dump the holding tanks to where to find fresh local produce.
And I have everything I need to begin: a fully functioning RV that I love traveling in, a new MacBook Pro, and a reservation for the month of August at an RV park in Morro Bay 2 blocks from the beach. There is free wi-fi there so that I can stay connected to friends and clients and there’s even a laundry on the premises.
So, this is my path, the road I am traveling. All I know is my initial destination. Beyond that, I will be open to change and spontaneity, a word that is hard to spell, much less live every day. But I am ready.
Click here to read more….
What rules hold YOU back? Is there one rule that you are ready to break? Share your story by clicking the comments below.
Good luck to you! Sounds fantastic, and I will be waiting to read about your adventures, for that is what they truly will be!
Thanks Lisa! Nice to know you’ll be on the adventure with me!
You go, Ruth. Breathe deeply and stay brave! Can’t wait to hear about the coming adventure.
yes–that clean ocean air should make it easy to breathe deeply!
Here is a suggestion you can say yes to….
First day out– start on the wild side with Shredded Wheat with bananas and a cup of tea.
LOL!!!
Dear Ruth,
Woo hoo to you!!
I’m so glad to read your admission of the control and planning you’ve built into your structured life.
And I’m double happy to watch you smashing through one rule at a time, to allow life to enter with its spontaneity, joy, and messiness. May you TRUST that anything that comes to you is something you can breathe into and meet. It’s okay to even say, I need to think about that, or I don’t know what to say right now.
You can pause and re-decide all day. Life will unfold in beautiful ways as you relax a tight hold.
Wishing you many, many blsssed moments in Morro Bay!
Love,
joy
Joy, thank you. yes, pausing before responding is a wonderful tool and gives us an opportunity to just breathe!
Ruth, you have such an amazing open heart and open mind — that’s why you’re going to do wonderfully well on your adventure! Know, too, that you have many, many fans and supporters rooting you on! Our thoughts and prayers will carry you along. Yay, Ruth!
oh Andrew, Thank You. And I really do feel the love holding me, carrying me…. waves of love!!!!
One of the things I’m learning is how many levels courage needs to operate on. Even to have Shredded Wheat and banana can take the courage to break a routine that’s been comfortable for so long.
You make my heart sing to know that you’ve found this road at last. You are an adventurer extraordinaire! Congratulations for pulling out of the driveway!
Jeanne, You are so right about the levels of courage. It’s certainly not just the big things In fact, I think we are most challenged by the smallest of shifts-like trying shredded wheat! My heart is singing too! Though it feels odd to call myself an adventurer, but I’ll try it… I am an adventurer. Extraordinaire…..and breathing….
I’m just the opposite of you, Ruth. It’s kind of funny. My artwork is exacting and requires clear stitch-by-stitch regularity within a structure… yet, personally, I struggle to build any routine at all in my daily life.
Every day is a new invention with all the stress that goes along with that. I would love to learn some of your regularity while retaining (enlivening and loving, in fact) my freedom. I think my inability to establish routine (which I think I need) takes some of the potential joy out of the freedom of my days.
It seems we may have a lot to teach each other, no? I’m excited about your adventure and would love to join you for a new sort of breakfast in your new place next month.
Leslie, it just shows you how differently people are wired. I think the bast case scenario is balance–in all things….
And YES! let’s have a new sort of breakfast together!!!
All of this, it is just amazing. AMAZING. Your entire story, each opportunity leading into the next…. I am so excited to follow along with you. THANK YOU.
Ruth, I’m excited to follow your adventures. Personally, I love Phoenix and it’s where I want to be but there are plenty of other areas in my life where I wish I would take a risk. Although a month on the beach does sound really inviting and fun. I admire people who go for it.
Lisa, yes, isn’t all of life this kind of unfolding–we’re just too busy to notice… glad you’re along for the ride!
so, Candace, what ONE thing could you do, one SMALL thing that feels risky (not dangerous!) that would take you to that edge? Can you imagine the feeling of looking yourself in the mirror, knowing YOU TOO had gone for it!!!
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!! Sending you a bunch of extra cat energy from me should you find it comes in handy! 🙂
xoxo
ooohhhh, kitty energy. love that! thank you! YES YES YES YES YES!!