One of the many things I’ve learned these past few years is how important the voice is. When we add sound to our movements, to our thoughts, to our sentences, the energy expands.
And yet, so many people are not comfortable making sounds, speaking up, being heard.
Listen around you to how quietly some people speak, even and especially when they are talking about something important.
Growing up, so many of us were told to Be Quiet. Many of us were told we had bad singing voices, so we should just mouth the words. And we have accepted these statements as truth, settling back into shameful silence.
Until today.
If we want to be heard, we must be learn to be comfortable using our voice.
We must believe that our words, our ideas, our perspectives are valuable and worthy of sharing. And that we have a right to speak up, speak out, even sing out.
Several years ago, a client shared that she used to love to sing. But her 3rd grade music teacher told her she was off key so should just mouth the words. For all those years in between she kept quiet, not even singing in the shower.
And then one night, after a powerful Living Room Ladies gathering, she attended her granddaughter’s birthday party and got up and sang karaoke. And she loved it. She couldn’t believe how fun it was and how much she had missed all these years.
When we don’t use our voice, we lose our voice, both literally and figuratively. Maybe we are more prone to sore throats or coughing. Maybe we feel like we are never heard. Maybe we don’t tell our own truth, for fear that we won’t be accepted.
Recently, in a different Living Room Ladies group, I asked each woman to write an affirmation that would guide her toward the more joyful, more authentic life she desired. One woman wrote, “I am honest about who I am and not afraid to voice it.”
This single sentence suddenly gives her permission to speak up for herself. And with practice, she will even be comfortable doing it.
So how can you get more comfortable with your voice?
Perhaps you can begin with just sighing an audible sound when you exhale. Notice if your sound is quiet, or fully supported by your outgoing breath.
Making silly sounds with your voice also opens up the channels. Singing gibberish silliness is a great way to reconnect with your voice. Find a young child and sing with them–they will certainly not judge you.
EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU CAN’T SING, DO IT ANYWAY.
Creating the vibration in your throat will reverberate into your heart and your entire body. Try it. Feel it.
Add words to the sounds.
Sing your affirmation.
Raise the volume so you are really heard! Having the support of strong breathing will also help you sing more in tune.
Sing it loud. Sing it proud. Sing it long. Sing it strong.
Begin to claim your voice and all that you are here to share!
I’d love to hear how you play with your voice, how you practice being heard. Please share your story with me and my readers by clicking on the Comments below.
Also, I am starting to visualize a new Living Room Ladies group. This time we’ll meet virtually, because, from my experiences with my Wisdom Council Mastermind I now see that you CAN form deep, intimate, trusting relationships without meeting in person. If you’re interested in more information, email me. To find out what the Living Room Ladies is, click on the link above!
Thank you Ruth for addressing such an important area of our total well being! Over the years I have been honored to host and facilitate women’s yoga retreats, and workshops on the breath. In all of those experiences I have found that so many people have great fear around making sounds. I do believe that our culture does not support making sound just for the pure joy of it. Ancient yogis knew that chanting opened up the breath and stimulated the flow of energy inside and outside of our bodies. Children know that sound is to be expressed often and with gusto, bubbling up from that natural reservoir of excitement (or even frustration) about life in the moment. Might we not be happier if we woke up singing instead of having that cup of coffee and negative blast of the news in the morning?? Open your voice, open your breath, open your life!! Thank you for the reminder Ruth!!
Gaye, YES! ABSOLUTELY we would be so much happier waking up with singing. On weekends, I find myself making up songs and singing to my dogs and it makes us all relaxed and happy and ready for the day. Yes, open your voice, open your breath, open your life. Thank YOU!
Ruth, I love this article! I think I’ve practiced every strategy you mention over the last few years to become comfortable with my voice…it is truly magical when you begin to own your truth and share it freely with the people in your world.
Ruth,
This is so important! Here’s my story: When I was a small girl, I loved to sing. I would run around the house singing, much to the dismay of my 3 younger, and loud brothers. They complained to mom that I was bugging them, and she hushed me. Far easier to hush one happy singing little girl, than three cranky little boys. The message I got was that my voice was not good, and that I needed to be quiet. So I was for many many years…to the point where I whispered, or spoke so quietly folks would ask me to repeat myself.
Fast forward to my aunt & uncles 50th wedding reception (I was 45 then)They had a young soloist at their party & there was not a dry eye in the room when she was done singing, except for my mom. She turned to me and asked why everyone was crying and I explained it was because she had such a lovely voice. Mom replied “you sounded just like that when you were little”
I went home, signed up for singing lessons and a choir and haven’t looked back. 13 years later, I am getting ready to launch a website about healing and music, and I am now starting to use my singing and songwriting for healing purposes.
WOW! Karen, WOW! and BRAVO to you for saying YES to your beautiful voice! Wishing you oodles of success as you help others reclaim their beautiful and powerful voices!
I love reading your heartsparks. You are a great example of what can happen when folks open up their voice, whether it be spoken, or written! I’ve started blogging too, something I never thought I would do~~~and it’s great fun! Thanks for being you & sharing so openly!(((hugs)))
Thank you Karen! Sharing is how we connect, how we support others, how we grow into our best selves. Please post your blog link here for us to explore!
Ruth— happy to share! lightheartedmusings.wordpress.com
Every time I step out & share a bit more, my tummy does a lurch & tumble— but this reaction is getting less & less, the more I do it. Blessings to all!