This letting go business is tough.
When we let go of something, how do we know something better will come? What happens if it’s gone forever?
Whenever I start to doubt, I turn to Nature for assurance. Nature seems to be a wonderful reflection for us humans.
In Carlsbad, California there is a place called The Flower Fields where they grow acres and acres of ranunculus. From March through May, the fields are full with every color of flower: red, orange, yellow, white, pink, even purple, as far as you can see.
But after the season, the farm workers harvest the seeds from the remaining crop and plow the fields down. They fumigate all the beds to be sure to kill everything. And they let the soil rest.
Through the winter the fields are empty, colorless, waiting.
In early spring, new seeds are planted by hand, row after row, the workers trusting that the coming year’s crop will bloom as colorful and beautiful as the year before.
While previous harvests strongly support the possibility, there is no guarantee.
But the flowers certainly wouldn’t grow if the farmers didn’t first clear the fields.
It’s the same with us.
We have to let go of the old to make space for the new. We need to sit in that space of fallow fields, allowing our own ground to rest before something new can grow.
A woman in my Living Room Ladies coaching circle is redefining what it means to be an artist. While she has let go of her youthful visions and expectations of an artist’s life, she has no idea what that life could look like now. And she is very uncomfortable with this blank slate.
Because if it’s not what she always thought it was, what is it?
She is in the fallow fields. She has plowed the fields and fumigated the beds and now she must sit and lean into that quiet empty space. Maybe it isn’t yet time to plant the new seeds.
So what can she do? (We all want to be DOING something to move our progress along.)
Well, sometimes the best doing is just Be-ing.
Being able to sit with the thoughts that come up, to calm ourselves when we butt up against our own impatience, to dig deeper into our own soil to reconnect with the reason we want to do this thing in the first place.
She will know when it’s time for planting. She will know what seeds to scatter. She will know how she wants to bloom.
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Beautiful post Ruth – and right on (and oh does it speak to me!!!). Thank you! – sharing in all my favorite places. Hugs!
Did you write this for me????? Boy, it seems that I have been through lifetimes in the last 2 years. It’s very strange, while I was still raising my children I knew what to expect in my daily life and all was good. Then the next 12+ years I had remarried but my husband turned out to be the most abusive person I had ever known. My Bishop tells me there are 5 types of abuse: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial. I had 4 of the 5. For a woman that had her own successful graphic design/printing business for 20+ years, raised 2 children on her own with NO child support, and was able to bless those around her with jobs and financial support, I became a mess. I got out of that relationship just in time before they had to come with the straight jacket – thanks to my daughter and 2 very close friends but lost everything I ever worked for in the last 35 years. (LET GO…) That was 18 months ago. Since then I have moved twice, the last being into my new boyfriend’s home with my dad who has dementia. I quit my career to take care of him – (LET GO…) and now 10 months later I can not give him what he needs and he is moving into a mental care home. (more LETTING GO…) I now have no income, am on AHCCCS and food stamps. Very humbling for someone who has NEVER been on any type of government assistance… (LET GO again…) my boyfriend wants me to follow my life’s dream: paint and achieve at least some local recognition – and maybe even sell some paintings! A dream I had since I was 5 years old! (would NOT LET GO of THAT) I am scared of the blank canvas… it calls to me as I sit and look, feel and pray to it. (got to LET GO of the fear…) So – I feel like the lady in your living room circle, redefining my artist self, (LETTING GO of MY youthful expectations) and trying not to feel uncomfortable with the canvas and my new artist self. I guess what I am trying to say, is thank you for helping me Be-ing me. I read your emails every time they come in and totally enjoy them. I will keep praying that I can LET GO of the past, the bad, and the ugly so that the new, the good and beautiful can come. Keep those emails coming… you have no idea how much they mean to so many. God bless!
Tammy, just keep breathing and accepting and envisioning those beautiful blooms!
Susie, that’s a lot to let go of, and it sounds like you have amazing support and love around you as you move through these challenges. There are so many ways to approach the blank canvas–I do understand the fear. Perhaps close your eyes and get some paint on you fingers and just move it on the canvas. No judgments–just giving yourself permission to reconnect with the medium. It’s like dipping your toes into the ocean after so so long and you imagine it’s going to be too cold to stand it, but you know how great it feels after the initial shock. Best to you!
Ruth-
Were you thinking of me when you wrote this beautiful piece? I have walked those incredible fields of flowers in Carlsbad many times. They are gorgeous beyond belief.
I am struggling at this time of my life to find a new direction. You know how hectic but full my life has been in Phoenix-an incredible family and the ability to help raise lots of $$$ of our community. But now living in CA for 6 months, I am having a hard time shifting. I can’t seem to find a balance. I don’t know how to sit on a couch and read a book, to take the time to relax. I need to find peace with that blank canvas.
Thanks for being in my life.
And it’s as the writer said, “It’s not one damn thing after another. It’s the same damn thing over and over again!” Blessings on us each and all as we keep choosing (most of the time anyway) to let go more and more, deeper and deeper.
Joy, often, yes, it’s the same thing, but life is a spiral (not a circle) and so each time we see “it” from a different perspective, with new insights and we can see that, indeed, there HAS been movement….
Surrendering to what is, without a plan is always terrifying to me. I am reminded of one time where I had to say goodbye to someone that I cared a great deal about, with the knowing that I would never see them again. I went back to my hauli ( room, in Hawaii) and cried a bit, & suddenly felt very peaceful & spacious. The sun felt like it had come out internally!
So I went out & started exploring the grounds some more & the person I thought I’d never see again, came running up to give me a bonus farewell hug…. The love will always be there, even tho we’ll never meet in person again. And I feel that last hug & blessing were truly a message that great things come when I surrender to the moment. When I surrender at all, instead of trying to. ” make” things happen!
The Gestaltists refer to “the fertile void” where we feel in the dark and as if nothing is going on or happening. But much is germinating, being pondered by our deeper and Higher Self and Power. Thank the dark and the light, shipmates.
I was at the Flower Farm two weeks ago as they were closing for he season. It was really an inspiration to see that hard work ethic still exists with pride being taken in their work.
Yes, it is inspiring!
Yes, Joy, the more times I find myself in this liminal space, the more I get it that it is a blessed place to be if I just lean in and breathe…it’s the place to release and clear out and cull what I want to keep as I ove forward to the next dream, even if I don’t yet “see” what it is. I do know how it FEELS and it is delicious!
Karen, I love that story and how you literally went out and began exploring the new terrain and you received exactly what you needed. I am discover a lot of peace in the deepest places of the letting go. WOW!!!