Journal of a Retreat Leader
Earlier this month I facilitated a powerful and intimate retreat in Sedona. Each woman arrived with some expectations and pre-conceived ideas of what might happen.
Throughout the weekend there were many opportunities to express and release the known and open to the unknown, creating space for new possibilities.
As each woman let go and opened up, she discovered something about herself that surprised her, excited her, inspired her.
When we create space for the unexpected, it’s amazing what we begin to notice about ourselves and our lives.
There were many invitations during the weekend to write, to use language to explore, express and make connections. Following are excerpts from my own journal writing during the retreat weekend.
“…there is so much space and room and vistas and comforts and amenities and grace and the grounds are lush and tended and tendered. I follow the sound of water, down an easy step-stoned path, across big, solid-footed boulders that lead to the creek where I stand.
To the left, the creek is barely a trickle, low water, almost stagnant, so much rusted rock exposed, the past. To the right, a larger body full of algae, of growing, of gathering, of gaining momentum. And beyond, the rush of living water, white capped, clear, moving, flowing, breathing water.
Between these two waters under the very rock I stand on is a metal pipe that connects these two bodies of water.
And I stand on this rock of NOW and this is where I am and this is how I move and this is why I am here.”
…..
“I walk to the edge of the rushing water, to the whole of the creek and open my heart, to this place, to this offering for the weekend, that each of us finds stillness and peace, and that in the stillness, we hear our heartbeat, we feel our life open, we realize what we have held too tightly, in fear, in comfort, in habit. And we open to what lies deeper, bigger, truer, waiting, ready to shine.”
….
“…the difference between a conductor and a conduit: A conductor controls. Orchestrates. Everyone must follow her lead. A conduit is an open channel, flowing the energy, serving, connecting, facilitating. A conduit is an integral component, yet no more or less important that the energy, the source, the flow itself.”
…..
“…What I am learning, what I am teaching, is that, when you let go of the need to control, the magic happens. And that’s when our hearts fill up and overflow. Sure, I had a “plan” for the weekend, but really, it’s just a guide. The women show up and I follow the energy of the group, of each retreater. And, by letting go of what I think SHOULD happen, space opens up for what NEEDS to happen.
And when it is really working, I am no longer the leader. I have become the conduit and each person moves the group forward, points to something for us to notice, shares something that we can each relate to. The group now holds and grows itself…”
If you’d like to be a part of the next Spark Your Heart, Ignite Your Life! retreat, save the dates: October 14-16, 2011. Stay tuned for details.
How to Accomplish Anything: Moving in the Direction of Z
photo by Bud Cruger
Often, a client comes to me wanting immediate change in some aspect of her life. Maybe it’s a new job, or a way to have more balance between work and play. Maybe it is about making new friends and being more socially connected.
Change takes time.
Change happens one step at a time. Sometimes it is a small step. Sometimes it is a huge leap. But the path from here to there is never one single step.
If you can think of achieving your goal not as one big action but as a series of steps, it becomes more manageable, more possible, more do-able.
I like to think of the process in terms of the alphabet, taking each step one letter at a time.
TRY THIS:
Imagine the alphabet as a series of stepping stones on a long, winding path.
Imagine you are standing on stepping stone A. Your vision of your dream is far off on stepping stone Z.
There is no possible way that you can jump from where you are to where you want to be in a single step. There are 24 letters in between.
So the only thing you can do is take one step at a time.
When you are standing on stepping stone A, you can only think about how to get to stepping stone B.
Then, when you are on B, you will know how to get to C. And so on.
By the time you are on stepping stone X, Z will be so much clearer and reachable. You will know how to get there.
So ask yourself,
What is your ultimate goal? Your stepping stone Z?
Where are you right now? What is your stepping stone A?
And what is your next step from where you are right now to take you in the direction of Z?
Maybe your dream vision, Z, is that you are a successful author and you travel around the country meeting people, giving workshops and readings and book signings.
Standing at A, you have an idea of what the book is about. You can envision yourself at Z, sitting at a table in a large bookstore, signing books and talking with your readers.
You know that somewhere around letter M you will need to publish the book but you have no idea how to do this or how much it’s going to cost. You know that between M and Z you’ll have to market your book so that people will invite you for the lectures and signing but you don’t know the first thing about marketing.
But that is not your focus right now. Because you are standing at A and your book is still just an idea.
Instead of panicking about all that you don’t know, come back to where you are right now and ask yourself,
What is your next immediate step?
If standing on Step A is wanting to write a book, then your Step B is to write.
Maybe it’s not even to write your book, but to just write. To get into the practice of writing every day, opening to your creative energies, creating the space for your ideas to meet the white page. Maybe your step B is to simply reconnect with the art and passion of writing.
Sometimes we may stand on a step for a while until the next step becomes clear. Other times one step leads to a hop and a skip to the next.
It all comes back to being in the present moment, standing where you are, and paying attention to everything right here, right now.
And asking yourself, again and again, what is my next immediate step?
Please share your thoughts and your big Z dreams, on my blog by clicking here.
Finding Your Soft Edge–It’s Time For An Adventure
Spring is in the air.
You can see the buds peeking out on the trees. You can feel the air getting a little warmer. And the days are staying lighter longer.
Spring is a time of action, rebirth and re-commitment. It’s a time to come alive again.
Today’s article offers you a fun way to greet the coming season.
In yoga, students are encouraged to find their soft edge–to stretch deep enough where you feel the stretch but do not feel pain. It is at this edge where the muscles release and then you can breathe in and stretch just a little bit further.
This week I invite you to go on an ADVENTURE DAY. Choose something that challenges you, that takes you to your own soft edge.
It could be something that you’ve always wanted to do but were a little too scared, or something you never considered doing by yourself.
Maybe you’ll go a movie by yourself, or take yourself out for a lovely meal. Maybe you’ll sign up for a class you’ve always dreamed of taking or go on a solo road trip.
It should NOT cause you harm or put you in danger.
I love going to ethnic supermarkets. They are full of new smells, foods I’m not familiar with, beautiful packaging and unusual non-edible items. And the sounds of people speaking in their native tongue is fascinating.
I love perusing the produce section for something I’ve never seen before and buying it, just to taste it.
Moving BEYOND what is comfortable and safe is where real growth can happen.
Where will you take yourself?
While you are on your adventure, notice:
What tickles your fancy?
What makes you stop and go back for a second look?
What do you see that you’ve never seen before?
How does it feel to do this thing by yourself?
I’d love to hear about your adventures. Please share them by clicking on the Comments below.
Mistakes Happen–Then What?
A few weeks ago, I hosted a free online webinar, teaching people some great Mac tips and shortcuts. I had sent out a series of emails beforehand, reminding the people who had signed up when to attend.
One email went out too soon, making it seem like the webinar had already happened.
Because, instead of scheduling it to be sent at 4 pm, after the webinar, it went out at 4 am.
It was a simple mistake.
With minimal consequences.
Sure, a few people were confused, but they emailed me and I explained everything.
You see, when you’re in business, and you’re dealing with automated emails and programs and technology, mistakes are bound to happen.
The question is, what do you do about it?
Do you react, finding blame, spiraling into panic and anxiety and failure?
Or do you take a breath and respond by finding a solution, a way to remedy the situation, maybe even with some humor?
I could have gotten all flustered and bent out of shape about the error.
But instead, I saw it as an opportunity to be transparent.
So I sent out another email and shared what had happened, figuring people would understand, and also be reminded that we all make mistakes. And that it’s OK.
Mistakes happen.
Sure, they can be inconvenient, even costly, sometimes. But if we think we’re never going to slip up, we’re fooling ourselves. And each other.
Mistakes offer us ways to grow and do-over. Mistakes remind us that it’s good to have a backup plan.
Mistakes give us a chance to look at what we are really afraid of.
We’re not afraid of imperfection. We’re afraid of what people might think of us because we made a mistake.
But if we remember that we all make mistakes, perhaps we can respond first, with compassion.
So the next time something doesn’t go quite the way you intended, or you choose a.m. instead of p.m., take a breath and remember, we all make mistakes.
How To Take An Instant Vacation
Vacations are fun. Adventure-filled. They help us relax and release. Being in a different place, away from the day in-day out activities of our lives often gives us new perspectives and a renewed sense of ourselves.
Vacations breathe new life into us.
So many people I talk to complain that they haven’t been on a vacation in forever.
They say they don’t have the time, or money, or someone to go with.
But what if you could go on an Instant Vacation, without ever leaving home?
Here’s how:
1. Make a list of all of the things you like to do when you are on vacation.
It could include:
sleeping late
reading a whole book in one day
exploring off-the-beaten-track places
hiking
kayaking
tasting the best local foods
visiting museums
finding a Farmer’s Market
geo-caching
checking out the local art scene
2. Using your home town as the destination, choose something from your list and do it, right where you live.
People often don’t take the time to explore their own backyard. But planning a special day or even just an afternoon for doing something from your list will give you that breather you’re looking for from your regular life.
You’ll discover something about the place you live. And you’ll probably discover something about yourself, too.
I’d love to hear your favorite vacation ideas. Click on the comments below to share.
How To Create Your Own Personal Manifestation Manifesto
There’s a famous quote by L. Ron Hubbard: “If you can dream it, you can do it.”
I will add that, “if you express it, it becomes possible.”
Whether it’s through writing or drawing, singing or dancing, cooking or gardening, expressing and embodying our dreams make them visible.
And if they are visible they are tangible.
And if they are tangible, then they are possible.
Creating a Personal Manifestation Manifesto can help you make your dreams possible:
A manifesto is a mission statement, a proclamation, an announcement. For me, it is also a declaration of what I want to manifest, or bring into reality.
A manifesto is written in present tense, as if you are already being, doing having what you are proclaiming.
A Manifestation Manifesto can include things that are already truth for you. And it can include the vision you hold of your truest, most authentic self.
Here’s how to create your own Manifestation Manifesto:
Begin with a blank paper or a page in your journal.
Take a few deep and centering breaths to come into the present moment.
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a favorite place, really enjoying yourself.
Follow your breath and connect to the person you are in this vision:
• what does it FEEL like to be you?
• what you are proud of in this moment?
• what are your greatest gifts?
• what brings you joy?
• how do you connect to something bigger than yourself?
• what words describe or identify what is most important to you?
Make a list or free-write about this vision.
Now go through your writing and pull out some key words, feelings, ideas. Find the essence of who you are in this joyful vision of yourself.
On a new piece of paper, write:
I AM… finishing each sentence with words that describe and celebrate who you are and this bigger vision you hold for yourself to become.
I AM is powerful.
I AM removes all doubt and fear.
I AM is rooted in courage and faith and possibility.
Now re-write your Manifesto on cardstock, really embodying the words as you write.
Feel free to embellish your Manifestation Manifesto using markers, glitter, magazine cutouts, etc.
Then be sure to hang it up where you will see it, read it and proclaim it for yourself several times every day.
If you’d like to share your Manifesto and REALLY make a proclamation, take a picture of it and email it to me at ruth@nullsparktheheart.com and I’ll post it here for everyone to celebrate!
Seeing With New Eyes
So many of us live a life of routine. We drive the same way to work everyday, sit in the same chair with our morning coffee, listen to our favorite, familiar music.
If creativity is how you express what you see, what you feel, how you interpret the world around you, then, if you see something new, you might think about it in a new way and often, that will inspire you to think about other things in new ways, too.
I invite you to shake up your routine and change something about your visual environment so that you can begin to see with new eyes and experience your world in new ways.
Here are just a few suggestions:
Rearrange your furniture
Drive a different way to work
Switch out the art on your walls, or hang some new work
Eat at a new restaurant
Change the picture on your computer screen
Walk to someplace that you might normally drive to
Take all the pictures off of your refrigerator
Sit in a different chair at dinner time
Hang new photos in your office
Sit outside at a different time of day
Take out a piece of paper and write down one or two things that you will do this week to change how you see things around you.
Notice what happens.
I’d love to hear about it.
Feel free to share your observations below by clicking on the comments.
And if you’d like to guess what this is a picture of, enter your guess in the comments. Be sure to include your email address because I’ll be rewarding the first correct guess with a Spark the Heart journal and I’ll need to contact you for your mailing address!
When Words are Food
I remember last week, reading some damn good blogs and thinking, I want to write like that again.
I whispered it. It was supposed to be a secret. Not a proclamation.
But the universe is always listening.
And so it was no surprise to me that all this week, big spaces of time have opened up for me.
At first, I filled the space with panic—where were all of my clients? Wasn’t January historically my biggest $$ month of the year?
Then I filled it with jamoca almond fudge ice cream.
Today, it finally dawned on me that this is an opportunity to write. To meet myself in that sacred quiet space where my fingers just follow a bigger energy.
Where I don’t think, I just write.
Where I don’t edit, I just write.
Where, when I’m done, I feel as if I have just savored a most delicious meal.
The End Is Just Another Beginning
I can’t believe it’s the last Monday in 2010. It’s been quite a year for me! Really high highs and incredibly low lows. And everything in between.
So often, if we’ve had a loss in our life ( a loved one, a job, a relationship, etc) we say it’s been a bad year. Yes, definitely, it’s been hard, but every moment hasn’t been full of grief. We couldn’t survive if it were.
In the midst of all of the hard stuff there are always moments of hope, of joy, of gratitude.
This last week of the year is an especially opportune time to reflect on ALL of the moments that have made up this year.
It’s easy to list all of the BIG stuff that has happened to us, for us, this year.
But what else has happened? What else have you done?
What are you proud of? What have you accomplished?
Taking the time to acknowledge our lives can be so empowering.
I invite you to find a quiet place and take out a piece of paper.
List TEN things you’ve accomplished this year.
They can be big things, small things, even challenges that you met head on.
They can be steps you’ve taken toward change in your life.
Then read your list OUT LOUD to yourself, in a mirror. Be proud. Be amazed. Be a celebrating fool!
Now take out a new piece of paper and write down FIVE more things you’d like to accomplish this year. Again, big or small, it doesn’t matter.
Post this paper where you will see it everyday, where it will inspire you and remind you what you really want for yourself in this coming year.
I’d love to hear what’s on your list. Please share by clicking on Comments below.
5 Simple Ways to Dial Down the Holiday Madness
Today’s post is written by Anna Garrett, President and Founder of the National Association for Women in Healthcare (NAWHC). Anna is passionate about teaching women who work in health care the importance of caring for themselves while caring for others. If you are ready to put yourself back on your to-do list, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription to Thriving in Health Care at http://www.nawhc.com.
The holiday season is here again! And as beautiful and magical as the holiday season ought to be, it is often an invitation to have a super-sized helping of stress.
We shop… we wrap… we entertain (and are entertained)… we eat, we drink, we are merry. We deal with our nutty relatives!
At this time of the year, most of us tend to prioritize everything EXCEPT ourselves. And guess who ends up not having any fun? That’s right… you (and me).
But the holidays are MEANT to be enjoyed! And a little conscious decision-making can help turn that frazzled feeling right around!
Here’s what to do BEFORE you turn into the Grinch:
1. Build in You-Time: Probably a no-brainer, but build in alone-time. Giving yourself time away from the craziness and time to decompress will give your mind and body the rest it needs to go full-steam ahead the rest of the time. At least once a week, do one of the following (or anything else that gives you the break you crave): Take a bath, get a massage, do yoga or meditate, take a walk in a non-crowded place.
2. Say No: This is the time of year when the invitations start piling up. It’s great to be included in parties and events, but you are NOT compelled to say “yes” to everything. Choose a number of events you’d like to attend for the season (zero is allowable) and stick to it. Taking care of yourself will allow you to get what you need to get done and allow you to take care of others when it is really necessary.
3. Shop Online: This is my personal favorite. These days, shopping online has so many advantages than shopping in the stores, so much so that I never set foot in a mall. Staying at home and shopping in your PJs is a great stress reduction technique!
4. Maintain a Healthy Regimen: You may not get to the gym as much as you normally do. And, you may indulge more than you normally do. However, maintaining some healthy balance when it comes to exercise and eating right is important to managing stress. And before you have that third martini, ask yourself, “How do I want to feel tomorrow?” Works wonders!
5. Sleep: Sleep allows our bodies to rejuvenate and rebuild itself for the next day. It may be tempting to stay up late at holiday parties or to get up early to get chores done, but try to manage your time so that you get in a good solid 7 or 8 hours of sleep a night.
The holidays don’t have to be stressful! Small, simple changes can free you up to enjoy your family and friends AND keep your sanity!
I’d love to hear how you take care of yourself during the holidays. You can share your ideas by clicking on the Comments below.
