Feb10
Posted on Feb 10 by Ruth Davis
My friend Laurie is dying. While I have lost two childhood friends to cancer, Laurie is the first friend who I have walked the path with, even if it has been mostly virtually. I met Laurie Foley online in 2012 through a network of Martha Beck coaches. She was a branding expert with a very smart blog that helped me see new possibilities for marketing my business. When she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she shifted her writing to the journey she was living. In October 2013 I met Laurie in person at Patti Digh’s Life is a Verb camp. Laurie had just finished a year of surgeries, radiation and chemo and Patti had invited her to speak about The Courage to Be Mortal. I saw Laurie at the Friday night Welcome Party, standing near the skewered shrimps and mini quiches. She was much taller than I expected and her hair was a stunning spiking gray. She walked toward me, offering a hug. I said, “Wait, this is special.” I took a big breath in then out, and then we...
Feb03
Posted on Feb 3 by Ruth Davis
I’ve been thinking lately about what seemingly subliminal messages we expose ourselves to every day, with TV commercials, billboards, extraneous conversations. And what about what we consciously CHOOSE to listen to? So what are you listening to? What’s playing in your iPod today? On your car radio? Do you listen to the lyrics? Do you sing along? Are you singing about power and beauty, and meeting your vulnerability head on? Or are you singing about how the world owes you or that someone did done you wrong? Giving voice to words is a powerful thing. Even if it’s “just singing with the radio,” your words are impacting you on a subconscious level. So why not chose to sing what you want to believe, what you want to come into your life, what you want to be and feel? Many years ago I bought a cassette tape with all kinds of original songs about the cartoon character Gumby. Remember him? That rubbery green fellow with a bump on his head and his orange pony pal named Pokey? Well, last week...
Jan27
Posted on Jan 27 by Ruth Davis
On a recent coaching call, we were talking about the times and places in our lives where we could literally pay more attention, slow down, be more present. One woman said that, often, when she’s walking her dogs, she’s doing it out of obligation and she just wants to get it done. She suggested she could slow down and enjoy the walk as much as they do. After the call, Cody and I took our own walk around the neighborhood. I tried to keep him close, with the retractable leash locked at 6 feet so that he wouldn’t explore every neighbor’s lawn, but we are used to the full length of the lead, out in open spaces, so that we can walk at our own paces, stopping for each other as necessary, with minimal tugging. This tight leash walking was new to both of us and there was too much tension on the leash for either of us to enjoy the walk. I wasn’t prepared for a training session, so I unlocked the line and we quickly settled...
Jan20
Posted on Jan 20 by Ruth Davis
There is such a push in this society to always be doing more, staying busy, increasing sales, growing your lists….. and it can be exhausting. But if we slow down or take a break, we’re called lazy or unproductive. Finding a balance between doing and being takes constant practice. Some days I do it much better than others. And sometimes I end up off the spectrum, thinking I’ll never find that balance again. I know that I’m idling. I know why I am idling. I even know what I need to do to kick it into drive. But until I’m able to take that action, I’m being kind and gentle with myself, and breathing. And so last week, I returned to my beloved yoga class, to familiar faces, to the clean bamboo floors, the silver air ducts, the ceilings hidden behind sheets of white linings that make me think of long spools of white butcher paper. And after hugs and quick updates, I rolled out my mat, perfectly aligned it with the edge of the floor boards, then I...
Jan13
Posted on Jan 13 by Ruth Davis
When I was in my 20’s I imagined that I would be the next Great American Writer. I sat at my portable electric Royal typewriter every day, inventing stories about people, documenting my observations, journaling ideas for my first great novel. One afternoon a friend said to me, “Why do you bother? There are no new ideas. Everything’s already been said.” Now, she was an important person in my life, and very smart–– her IQ was high enough to join the Mensa Society–– and so I believed her. And I stopped writing. Twenty years later I took a deep breath and signed up for a creative writing class with an amazing teacher who encouraged my writing, challenged my skills and inspired me to write deeper and better. One day in class she said, “There are no new ideas.” My heart sank to my knees. No, not again. And then she finished her sentence. “And so it’s your job as a writer to come up with new ways to say things so that people can see it fresh. New.” There was...
Dec23
Posted on Dec 23 by Ruth Davis
Every year I choose a single word as a compass, a guide, a solid reminder of what I want to manifest for myself. The word serves as a touchstone for me as I make choices through the year. I post the word in my bathroom and acknowledge it daily, asking myself “how can I be that today?” The first year I chose the word BE. Because I was always planning, dreaming and imagining the future, I was rarely present where I was. BE-ing was very uncomfortable. It made me slow down and experience where I was, not where I wanted to be NEXT. It made me sit still and feel my emotions. I began a yoga practice and discovered that the simple act of breathing can calm me and bring me back to the here and now. The next year my word was VULNERABILITY. I wanted to let go of control and open to things that I didn’t have the answers to. I was ready to feel what was uncomfortable and go even deeper. I had so many opportunities...
