Nov11
Posted on Nov 11 by Ruth Davis
All around me people are rushing and hurrying, taking care of people and things and the heavy worlds on their shoulders. And they are tired and cranky and wondering why all of this giving and doing doesn’t feel very good. Maybe because they are tired. Sore. Overwhelmed. Maybe because they are forgetting to take care of themselves…. When did the word “selfish” get such a bad rap? When did it become a negative thing to take care of our own needs? Isn’t taking care of ourselves crucial to our well-being? Isn’t self-care the way we stay healthy and able to give and care for others? What if we embraced the idea that it’s OK to put our own needs first sometimes? Imagine how rejuvenated and recharged you might feel……. So many of my clients tell me that their biggest challenge is finding time for themselves. Not just finding time, but JUSTIFYING the NEED for time for themselves. They tell me that it is so easy to do for others, to take care of everyone else, but that, when it...
Nov03
Posted on Nov 3 by Ruth Davis
We’ve all heard the phrase “think outside the box”, but before you can begin to think or live outside the box, it helps to know what that means. For each of us the answer will be different. QUESTIONS: What does living inside the box mean to you? It could mean feeling stuck or bored. It might mean doing what is expected of you. Maybe inside the box is predictable, what you always do. Inside the box could be playing it safe, staying where it is easy, comfortable. What does living outside the box mean to you? Is it pushing your limits? Is it taking more risks, leaping into the unknown? Maybe it is doing the same thing, but differently. Maybe it’s eating at a new restaurant. Maybe it is moving your sofa to the other side of the room. Think about your own answers and write them down. Writing things down gives power to your thoughts. And writing requires effort, commitment, taking the time to find your pen and paper. Complete these sentences, being as descriptive and vivid as...
Oct28
Posted on Oct 28 by Ruth Davis
“Seeing Through the Heart” by Colorful Blac Recently, a coaching client was having trouble seeing the amazing shifts in her life. She could only see that she is still at the same job, her house is not remodeled, the yard is still not planted. I asked her to look with her heart, instead of her eyes. Suddenly she could see so many changes in herself, her environment, how she is showing up in the world. She realized that she is not reacting at work, that she is engaging more with her live-in father-in-law. She is so aware of how much more balance she feels in her moods and her body. Big changes happen INSIDE first. It’s as if we must rebuild from the ground up. Often, when we are ready for change, we first have to redefine our priorities, we need to get clear about our values. We must create space for ourselves in order for changes to grow. And of course, this takes time. And work. And faith. And it takes stepping back from what we see on...
Oct21
Posted on Oct 21 by Ruth Davis
I remember the first time I offered a free tele-seminar call, where I announced a new online Master Coaching program. My vision was clear and powerful: people would listen to the call, get as excited about the content as I am, feel incredibly inspired and deliriously motivated and the class would fill within the first week. But that didn’t happen. Sure, people listened to the call. But not a single person signed up for the program. And I was devastated. How could I put so much effort and love into a thing and not have it turn out the way I expected? I wallowed for a few days in the disappointment. I knew I did a good job. I knew I was offering an amazing program. (Fortunately, I never went down the self-deprecating path telling myself that the tele-seminar sucked, or that I wasn’t a good coach.) But I did wonder if I should just give up on the whole Spark the Heart thing and focus all of my efforts and attentions on my Mac training, since that’s where more...
Oct14
Posted on Oct 14 by Ruth Davis
Some decisions are easy. You know you want to or don’t want to do something and it’s clear and simple and done. Other decisions require more thought and contemplation because the answer isn’t as clear-cut. Maybe you take out a piece of paper and write the PROs on one list and the CONs on the other. Maybe you ask your friends and family for their input. Often, writing it all down brings clarity. But sometimes, all of that thinking only muddles the issue. I remember the night I needed to decide if I was going to continue working with my amazing coach in 2011. My list of PROs and CONs was evenly matched. There were just as many reasons to say YES as there were not to. I was so overwhelmed with having to choose that I couldn’t sleep. And the lack of sleep led to a head cold. Have you ever tried to make a decision when you felt like your head was submerged in a fish bowl? But that’s exactly what I needed. To NOT be able to...
Oct07
Posted on Oct 7 by Ruth Davis
I’ve settled into the rhythm here: the daily walks up and down the hill to the beach, the weekly trip to the farmers market for sourdough bread and fresh, ready fruit, and the quiet evenings sitting outside with Cody as the sun goes down over the big hills. Against that steady, comfortable rhythm, I have become very aware of the places where I am oh, so uncomfortable. I did not think that, living across the street from the beach, I’d be bored and lonely and spending much of my time posting comments on FaceBook. But, like Jon-Kabat-Zinn wrote, “wherever you go, there you are”….and all of your challenges come with you… We think that if we just had this, or did that, or lived here, then life will suddenly be easy and perfect and magical. HA! We forget that the one variable that is part of the equation is still our own self. That, until we change our core beliefs and behaviors, we will be confronted with the same challenges we struggled with before this or that or here. Case...
