Sep24
Posted on Sep 24 by Ruth Davis
Have you ever been called to do something that pushed you to the edge of your comfort zone? This soft edge is where we can learn so much about ourselves. We can observe how we respond to the challenge. We can hear the stories we tell ourselves. At this uncomfortable edge we can choose to step back from the fear and stay safe. Or we can choose to move toward the discomfort and uncertainty and say YES to this thing that excites us and scares us, knowing that something big and beautiful is bound to happen when we do. In 2006 I had never considered going on a retreat. In fact, I really didn’t even know what it entailed. I hated sleepover camp and I prefer small groups and my own bed. But I been reading Christine Kane’s blog for several months, connecting with her words, resonating with the themes and ideas she shared. So when she announced that she was leading a women’s retreat in Asheville, North Carolina, something deep and strong inside of me said, hmmmm. But then...
Sep17
Posted on Sep 17 by Ruth Davis
“Broken hearted often leads to broken open. And broken open is the perfect environment for finding out who you are and why you’re here. Break and grow.” – Michele Woodward On September 16, 2007, emergency open heart surgery saved my life. I didn’t have clogged arteries or heart disease. I had a myxoma, a very rare benign tumor that was almost completely blocking the blood flow through the left atrium of my heart. They discovered it after I had an episode of sharp ice pick stabbing pain in my back and chest and the inability to breathe. And yes, jaw pain and arm pain too. It started right after dinner out with friends, so I thought it was indigestion. I made a cup of tea and smoked some pot to calm down. And then I just laid in my bed and tried to find a position of least resistance so I could just focus on breathing. I didn’t call 911. I knew that if I went to the ER, that crazy, noisy chaos would kill me. I knew that...
Sep10
Posted on Sep 10 by Ruth Davis
I’ve been struggling these past few weeks, not knowing if I should stay in Arizona longer or head back to the beach. Unlike previous returns to CA, this time I didn’t have a clear reason for going back, besides the fact that it’s the beach and I can walk and breathe and I love the climate. But I had lots of reasons to stay – to help Marika oversee the big front lawn landscaping project, to enjoy the company of friends, to make art in my studio in the garage and enjoy TV and high speed internet. And so I was torn. Because I thought that NOT going back to the beach meant I had failed somehow. I floundered in those feelings of failure and loss and not knowing until finally, I called my coach. She helped me recognize that I was beating myself up and that whatever I chose would be the right choice. I spent the next few days after our coaching call editing the Heart Sparks book. Reading my own wisdoms about breathing and letting...
Aug27
Posted on Aug 27 by Ruth Davis
Wherever you are is where you begin. Right here. Right now. Never mind how you’ve tried it before, done it before, been there before. You are here. Now. Standing in this present moment. While this may be an easy concept to accept abstractly, it is not as easy to embrace when we are attempting to do something we used to be so good at. I used to be a cyclist. I took daily rides of 10-15 miles along the canals, to city parks. I easily pedaled 35-50 miles every Saturday, touring the stretches of farmland on the outskirts of Phoenix. I even did a 2-day, 150 mile ride to California as a fundraiser for MS. When I think of those long rides, I forget that when I first started, it was a huge accomplishment to ride just one mile around my own neighborhood. I forget that it took months for me to build up my physical and mental strength and endurance to ride long distances. It’s been more than 20 years since I was that long distance rider....
Aug20
Posted on Aug 20 by Ruth Davis
I had dinner the other night with a friend who, for several years, and many reasons, has stayed in an unfulfilling marriage. But now, she is taking the steps toward divorce. While she knows it is the best choice for her, she is freaking out about the future. How will she support herself? How is she going to live? What will her life be like if she is not married? And when she asks these questions, there is so much panic and anxiety in her voice that she freezes. I suggested she change the intonation of her questions so that they are more like open-ended wonderings that don’t require immediate answers. I asked her what her dream life might look like twelve months from now. Without hesitation, she began to describe a cozy house and she would paint all the walls whatever colors she wanted. Her whole face lit up as she shared her dream of this community house filled with books and space for people to just come and hang out. And then she stopped. But it’s not practical, she...
Aug13
Posted on Aug 13 by Ruth Davis
Marika, Mabel and I spent last weekend at a friend’s cabin out of the heat of the desert. What a gift to drive two short hours north and be surrounded by tall, sweet pines, where the daytime temperature peaks in the mid-80’s and at night, it’s cool enough, with the windows open, to pull a blanket over my shoulders. We arrived in the dark on Friday night, unpacked, made the bed and went to sleep soon after. In the morning, Marika took Mabel for a walk along the forest trail while I lounged in bed, happy to see all of the trees through the windows. After coffee and breakfast on the deck, I took Mabel for a short neighborhood walk but the 6500 feet altitude was hard on this sea-level gal’s lungs and I when we got back I had to take a nap. But the air was clear and crisp and even a little moist when the afternoon clouds gathered in with a promise of rain. We heard some far off thunder rolls, but the storm missed us....
