Jun20
Posted on Jun 20 by Ruth Davis
We’re all afraid of something. Ignoring it may work for a little while, but facing it head on is the only way to really conquer the fear. I have my mother’s body, from the two chins and small hands, to the renaissance curves and pendulous breasts. My belly, round and firm at the same time, a small waist compared to my buttocks that are wide like all the women on her side of the family. I have the same thick thighs and narrow feet, and the pinky toes that curl under the other toes. My mother chewed antacids as far back as I can remember. I could always find a white box of peppermint CHOOZ gum in her pocketbook, on her headboard, in the glove compartment. For years my mother swallowed her anger, her grief, her feelings of losing control. I am much better at expressing myself – crying, yelling, feeling my feelings and letting them go. And still, I have the same reflux issues that she did. The ones that eventually turned into esophageal cancer and killed her....
Jun06
Posted on Jun 6 by Ruth Davis
With less than 30 days till Moving Day, I have started to pack and sort through my stuff. I have boxes filled with what to keep, what to give away. I recently went through some of my mother’s things, asking the same questions. There is a lot of energy in things. Taking time to sort through them can bring us clarity, space and memories, of course. There was no urgency. My father wasn’t moving out of the house. And he has his own closet so it wasn’t even a matter of needing the space. Still, I knew we needed to remove my mother’s clothes from the closet, empty her dresser drawers, clear out everything that was hers that wasn’t hers anymore. I had put it off for so long that, almost two years after she had died, my father finally did it without me. He quick-folded everything into four large black trash bags and brought them over to my house one afternoon before we went out for burgers. He wanted me to go through the bags before donating them...
May29
Posted on May 29 by Ruth Davis
“When you set out on the path, the path begins to materialize, but not before.” – Susan Piver Any adventure is a path. It meanders, it gets bumpy. It might even dead end. But if you keep moving forward, one step at a time, it will lead you where you need to go. If you’ve been following my moving adventures to live on the Central Coast of California, the last you heard, I didn’t get my “dream house” and I was waiting to hear about the back up man’s house. (If you missed Part 1 you can click to read it here.) Still, I had my going away gathering as planned and it was so lovely to have my friends and family all together, talking, eating, creating prayer flags for me to hang in my new home. There were no tears or sad goodbyes since I still didn’t have a place or a moving date. An hour before the party I saw a listing on Craig’s list-not for a house like the “dream house” but for a furnished studio...
May23
Posted on May 23 by Ruth Davis
One of my favorite tools I use with coaching clients is re-framing. I ask them to consider a thought, idea, problem, word, from a different perspective. When we get locked into a single way of looking at something, we aren’t open to what else it might be. I’ve been practicing this a lot lately, as my moving plans keep changing and shifting. The day after I sent in my deposit for my “dream house,” I found out the current tenants had decided not to move. After my initial disappointment, I accepted that it just wasn’t meant to be. I called the man with the the backup house but he hasn’t returned my calls. So I’m taking that as a no. Last weekend I saw a furnished studio listed on Craig’s List. It was completely not what I was originally looking for, but I realized that it would give me the time and space and flexibility to more easily make the transition from here to there. I contacted them but they didn’t respond to my emails and then the...
May15
Posted on May 15 by Ruth Davis
On my birthday back in March, I was thrilled to start my day with my Rhythm of Being movement classmates. Before class, I stood in the doorway of another classroom, listening to the senior men of the Phoenix Men’s Choir rehearsing. I so wanted to ask them to sing Happy Birthday to me. But they were deep in the practicing of E flats and A’s, and I didn’t want to interrupt. I told my own teacher my wish and the next thing I knew, our class was walking down to the music room and yes, those fifteen men sang to me. I stood in front of them, beaming, my eyes tearing, feeling so joyous as their strong song, their three part harmonies, their booming voices filled the room, filled my heart. I was so glad that I hadn’t keep my wish to myself. That someone else was able to make it happen for me. It was one of the best happy birthday songs I’ve ever experienced. So often we think we have to do everything for ourselves. We don’t...
Apr25
Posted on Apr 25 by Ruth Davis
I’m participating in Patti Digh’s online writing class, VERBTRIBE:MASTER CLASS. Since February 1 when the first class began, I’ve been writing every day. Not a novel or short stories. Just writing. Every day. Patti gives us prompts, and then more prompts that take us deeper. We only have two days to write and polish and post a piece. This has been the best part for me: writing and letting go of the need to edit it to perfection. Just posting it as it is in that finished moment. Lately we’ve been focusing our attention and our writing on the world within a quarter mile of where we live. As I am packing and finalizing my moving to California plans, the writing has been an opportunity for me to honor and reflect on my time here in this house. Here’s one of the pieces I wrote: Like African Daises I’ve walked this sidewalk every day for three and a half years. Not counting days off when I didn’t have the dogs. Or I put my back out. Or it was...
